Ricardo Montalban, AKA Ricardo Gonzalo Pedro Montalbán y Merino, AKA KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN was a Mexican-born actor with an amazing voice. Poor Ricardo died about a year ago, the cause of death: sheer awesomeness.

Ricardo’s stint as Mr. Roarke on Fantasy Island was before my time, but I loved him as the suave bad guy in The Naked Gun. Montalban also had a supporting role in Spy Kids 3-D, which I have to admit I saw (and liked). Ricardo agrees:

But undoubtedly the best role Montalban ever played was Khan in Wrath of Khan (and Star Trek TOS). Khan was the product of genetic engineering in the 1990′s, who was frozen in suspended animation and lost in space. That is until Kirk woke him and his super-human crew from their slumber. Needless to say shit went down.

Ricardo was an amazingly smooth and unique man. Now that he’s gone, will anyone else ever be able to fill his shoes? Maybe Gunther?

Dennis Rodman: proof that ugly people can make it.

To be honest, I’m not sure how Dennis Rodman stayed so famous for so long. He got started by simply looking weird: crazy tattoos, facial piercings and hair colors really appealed to 90′s audiences. Rodman was also a pretty good basketball player, but even combining the two really should have only yielded 6 months or so of big time fame.

I think it had more to do with the fact that Dennis Rodman was also some kind of bizarre 90′s sex icon. He mostly appealed to girls who really wanted to piss off their parents.

This picture sort of blows my mind (but then again not really):

Dio was an awesome metal band from the 80′s headed by frontman Ronnie James Dio. In case you whipper-snappers don’t remember, Dio invented the devil horns (or at least their use in the heavy metal scene).

Poor Ronnie died yesterday, and will be greatly missed.

While Holy Diver was Dio’s biggest hit, Rainbow in the Dark has always had a much bigger place in my heart. I think it’s because the video is so awesome: it features a stuffy guy in a suit following this girl all over some city. When he finally catches up with her, she’s totally rocking out with Dio and all the guys in his band. Sorry dude.

However perhaps the saddest part about Dio’s death is that the official video for Rainbow in the Dark has been pulled from Youtube. I really don’t think Dio would have wanted it that way.

WWRJDD?

Dio also had an amazing cameo on South Park, which has also been pulled from YouTube (ugh). At least you can still watch it in Spanish.

Tony Little was pretty intense. He invented the Gazelle, an elliptical-type workout machine, and then proceeded to make a ton of commercials and workout videos.

Another thing I’m sure you’ve noticed about Tony is his amazing sense of style. Does he look like he’s from Florida to you too? I’m not really sure what I’m basing that on.

Watch a Tony Little commercial

I knew Tony Little was “up to 88″ once he started making ironic commercials for Geico:

Watch Tony’s Geico commercial

First of all I’d like to say that Pee Wee Herman was and will forever be my homeboy. But there’s no denying that he has gone ‘up to 88′, and in a big way.

My favorite Pee Wee moments of all time were in Pee Wee’s Big Adventure. It really has everything: a quest for a stolen bicycle, Dottie looking super hot, and Large Marge (who still gives me nightmares…).

Watch the best scene in Pee Wee’s Big Adventure

A while ago I realized that Pee Wee’s Big Adventure was directed by Tim Burton. I guess it makes sense, I mean remember the big weird dinosaur:

Remember Jeff Goldblum? Hint: he was the sarcastic 90′s guy with the square glasses in all the iMac commercials (and every record executive’s personal hero).

There was a widespread rumor that Goldblum was drunk during every one of his performances, which I think was probably only partly true (the other part was cocaine).

And for some reason I was certain that poor Jeff died. But I see from Jeff Goldblum’s wikipedia entry that I’m wrong and he’s indeed alive and kicking, and doing one of the 50 different Law & Orders. So I guess that means I can’t put him up to 88 just yet…

Well ‘two thumbs up’ on being alive, Jeff! Too bad I already made a memorial picture from when you looked hardcore in Jurassic Park:

And in case you ever wonder whether Jeff Goldblum is alive, you can go to www.isjeffgoldblumalive.com

Oh Janeane Garofalo you were so important in the 90′s. Your angry thing really appealed to Gen-Xers until around 2000 when they all got too old to care.

Wikipedia says Generation X likes Janeane Garofalo because of Reality Bites. It makes sense to me. (When I first saw that movie I was too young to know they smoked a can bowl.)

In any case, do you want to know the truth about cats and dogs? Janeane Garofalo is up to 88 and won’t be coming back.

Remember Susan Boyle? That was a pretty brief 15 minutes huh?

Well I for one am glad she made it up to 88 so quickly…I remember feeling seriously disappointed when a friend sent me her now famous Britain’s Got Talent performance.

Thing is, when someone links me an American Idol-type video I’m expecting to see some carnage: I mean I only clicked on it out of morbid curiosity. I want to watch them crash and burn, I want to feel better about myself watching some poor freak like Willie Hung. I definitely DO NOT want to see some uplifting tale of an ugly duckling / diamond in the rough / blah blah blah.

Well I think Susan Boyle’s newfound lack of fame teaches us one thing: pretty people will always win, no matter how much we may pretend otherwise.

Well here you go Susan, your last moments of fame:

Susan Boyle on American Idol (AKA Britain’s Got Talent)

Miss you so bad P. Swayze. Namaste Bodhi, I hope you’re catching waves up in heaven bra.

1. “Back off warchild” from Point Break (1991)

2. ‘Pain don’t hurt’ – from Roadhouse (1989)

3. ‘She’s Like the Wind’ music video performed by P. Swayze (1987)

4. Fight from Roadhouse (1989)

5. Bodhi learns more Spanish than “Vaya con dios”

6. Bodhi learns how to say “Vaya con dios” in Italian

7. Obligatory Dirty Dancing Scene (1987)

8. Point Break (1991) Trailer

9. Trailer for Ghost (1990)

10. Big bar fight in Roadhouse (1989)

Blossom and her crazy hats got up to 88 a long time ago.

Guess what? The actress who played Blossom actually has a name! (And its not ‘Blossom’.) It’s Mayim Bialik, and she looks to be staying at 88…