Silk Stalkings was a trashy detective drama from the early 90’s. Think Miami Vice with more boobs, except that they couldn’t show boobs because it aired on the USA network.

The show was basically soft-core porn for people who couldn’t afford “Skinamax”, and didn’t have a time machine to go watch Baywatch.

Silk Stalkings was chock full of cheesy inuendos, for instance:

Sammy, I’m impressed. I didn’t know you followed baseball. I thought golf was your only sport.

And regardless of whether they were naked or wearing a power suit with shoulder pads, the women of Silk Stalkings were always smoking Virginia Slims.

Watch a full episode

Mouse pads were the best way to show a little personality around the office. You’re in a cubicle with gray walls, a gray chair, a gray desk, and BAM a bright red mousepad with cool race-cars, Marvin the Martian, or maybe the San Francisco 49ers.

Whoever manufactured mouse pads must have been raking in the dough, it was like $10 for a tiny piece of foam and plastic.

But like so many technology icons of the 90’s, mousepads had a very limited time in the sun. Up until around 2004, people needed mousepads. After all, what else was the mouse-ball supposed to drag on?

However, these days everyone and their Grandma has a laser mouse, and no ball means no mouse pad. Except grannie probably still uses that one you got printed for her of your family’s Christmas card.

This guy probably thought he had the coolest invention ever. How much you want to bet he had a calculator watch in the late 80’s?

Power Walking was an exercise fad that peaked around 1996. It fell somewhere in between a real workout and wearing an electric ab belt.

Power walking was particularly popular amongst the elderly. They must have gotten bored of water aerobics.

Probably the best part about power walking was actually seeing people do it. I remember the power-walkers on the track at my high school. They’d be pumping their arms feverishly, with a look of total Lance-Armstrong-Determination on their faces. All this while being passed by joggers in sweatsuits.

Married with Children was a crass sitcom from the late 80’s and early 90’s that aired on (who else) the Fox Network. It was probably the start of “toilet humor”.

Married with Children starred Al Bundy, the lovable anti-father who hated his kids, his wife and his job. His wife Peg kept begging him for sex but all Al wanted was porno mags & beer.

Their daughter Kelly was an airhead played by Christina Applegate, who’s main role was to walk around in a halter-top. I think Christina has been trying to shake this image ever since, but judging from her Twitter feed, she’s not doing so well. At least blondes have more fun…

When I think of Married With Children, the intro probably stands out most in my mind: “Love and marriage, love and marriage….”

Watch the iconic Married With Children intro

For more on Married with Children, check out Bundyology.com

Remember the commercials with the kid who always said “Dude you’re getting a Dell”?

Ben Curtis was that lovable stoner from all the Dell commercials in the late 90’s / early 2000’s. It was no small task: Curtis had to be lovable enough to both appeal to kids and get your parents to buy you a “school computer” (that was really only going to be used for Napster and porn).

Unfortunately, the Dell Dude met his end in the worst way possible: he got fired for smoking pot. What bullshit right? I mean they obviously hired him because he was a pothead. They only fired him because he got caught.

What’s the Dell Dude up to now? He’s a bartender in NYC, Dude get me a drink.

Watch a Dell Dude commercial

Ricardo Montalban, AKA Ricardo Gonzalo Pedro Montalbán y Merino, AKA KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN was a Mexican-born actor with an amazing voice. Poor Ricardo died about a year ago, the cause of death: sheer awesomeness.

Ricardo’s stint as Mr. Roarke on Fantasy Island was before my time, but I loved him as the suave bad guy in The Naked Gun. Montalban also had a supporting role in Spy Kids 3-D, which I have to admit I saw (and liked). Ricardo agrees:

But undoubtedly the best role Montalban ever played was Khan in Wrath of Khan (and Star Trek TOS). Khan was the product of genetic engineering in the 1990’s, who was frozen in suspended animation and lost in space. That is until Kirk woke him and his super-human crew from their slumber. Needless to say shit went down.

Ricardo was an amazingly smooth and unique man. Now that he’s gone, will anyone else ever be able to fill his shoes? Maybe Gunther?

Kenny Loggins, AKA Adventure Kenny, AKA Kenny Fucking Loggins, pretty much defined the sound of the 80’s.

Probably most notable is Kenny’s involvement in the Top Gun soundtrack. In this ‘nothing-but-hits’ soundtrack, Loggins dropped the mega hit Highway to the Danger Zone, as well as the incredibly homoerotic Playing with the Boys. (OK the beach volleyball scene didn’t help anything)

But Highway to the Danger Zone was really just the tip of the iceberg when it came to Kenny Loggins and 80’s hits.

Follow Kenny Loggins on Twitter

Undoubtedly the best representation of Kenny Loggins was done by the amazing Yacht Rock series. Although Kenny is a recurring character, he really shines in Yacht Rock’s first episode:

Watch Adventure Kenny on Yacht Rock

Hey Dude was a show on Nickelodeon in the 90’s that was a teenage soap opera on a dude ranch. Think Saved by the Bell meets Bonanza.

Hey Dude actually kind of sucked. It was a lot like Home Improvement; I only watched it because it was sandwiched between shows that were good.

Watch Hey Dude with a laugh track

Dennis Rodman: proof that ugly people can make it.

To be honest, I’m not sure how Dennis Rodman stayed so famous for so long. He got started by simply looking weird: crazy tattoos, facial piercings and hair colors really appealed to 90’s audiences. Rodman was also a pretty good basketball player, but even combining the two really should have only yielded 6 months or so of big time fame.

I think it had more to do with the fact that Dennis Rodman was also some kind of bizarre 90’s sex icon. He mostly appealed to girls who really wanted to piss off their parents.

This picture sort of blows my mind (but then again not really):

Dio was an awesome metal band from the 80’s headed by frontman Ronnie James Dio. In case you whipper-snappers don’t remember, Dio invented the devil horns (or at least their use in the heavy metal scene).

Poor Ronnie died yesterday, and will be greatly missed.

While Holy Diver was Dio’s biggest hit, Rainbow in the Dark has always had a much bigger place in my heart. I think it’s because the video is so awesome: it features a stuffy guy in a suit following this girl all over some city. When he finally catches up with her, she’s totally rocking out with Dio and all the guys in his band. Sorry dude.

However perhaps the saddest part about Dio’s death is that the official video for Rainbow in the Dark has been pulled from Youtube. I really don’t think Dio would have wanted it that way.

WWRJDD?

Dio also had an amazing cameo on South Park, which has also been pulled from YouTube (ugh). At least you can still watch it in Spanish.