Up To 88 » early 90′s

Sister, Sister

JR — Wed, 12 May 2010 23:58:29 +0000

Sister, Sister was huge in the mid 90′s. It was about two identical twins with less-than identical personalities.

More importantly, the Sister, Sister theme song was off the hook.

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Virtual Reality

JR — Mon, 03 May 2010 16:40:59 +0000

Virtual reality was just about the coolest thing in the 90′s. I remember standing in line for hours to play fifteen seconds of a really boring game in VIRTUAL REALITY.

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Nickelodeon Guts

JR — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 14:07:46 +0000

Do you have it? Duh duh duh do you have it?

Guts was a sports show on Nickelodeon that was basically American Gladiators for kids.

But the best part about this show was watching a boy get the snot beat out of him by a little girl. A lot of times there’d be a big age gap, so you’d see an older girl totally emasculate a younger boy. But it wasn’t always an age gap, some of the kids were just sissies.

If you really proved your worth on Guts, you got to take home the best prize of all: A PIECE OF THE AGGRO CRAG!

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Furbies

JR — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 14:07:12 +0000

Remember Furbies? Riding on the tail of Beanie Babies, Furbies peaked in popularity sometime around 1998, then were never to be seen again. It had something to do with them being stupid.

Furbies were little furry robots that would talk to you, or rather would speak a language called “furbish” which was a bunch of cutesy grunts and baby-talk.

Funny story: some people believed that Furbies had the ability to learn (not unlike The Terminator). Although these rumors were completely untrue, several intelligence agencies banned Furbies from their offices for security reasons.

Watch a Furby commercial

Watch two Furbies talk to each other (a “confurbsation”)

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Tony Little

JR — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 17:17:18 +0000

Tony Little was pretty intense. He invented the Gazelle, an elliptical-type workout machine, and then proceeded to make a ton of commercials and workout videos.

Another thing I’m sure you’ve noticed about Tony is his amazing sense of style. Does he look like he’s from Florida to you too? I’m not really sure what I’m basing that on.

Watch a Tony Little commercial

I knew Tony Little was “up to 88″ once he started making ironic commercials for Geico:

Watch Tony’s Geico commercial

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Beverly Hills 90210

JR — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 21:36:06 +0000

90210 pretty much hit the nail on the head when it came to attending high school in the 90′s. You had Steve the date-rapist, Kelly the slut, Dillon the tweaker, Andrea the nerd, and then a bunch of boring people you’d forget about.

The one thing that always annoyed me was how Aaron Spelling cast his daughter Tori as Donna, the super-nice girl who never did anything wrong. I remember when she finally lost her virginity with David. There were enough tea lights to say “we’re not ‘f*cking’ we’re ‘making love’”.

Peach Pit 4 Life!!!!!

Looking back on 90210, I think the weirdest thing that ever happened was a guest appearance from The Flaming Lips.

In 2008 CBS launched a reboot of 90210, and now the main 90210 entry in Wikipedia points to the new version of the show. What horseshit right? There’s no way a P.O.S. show like that could ever bring this 90′s classic ‘back from 88′.

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Bubble Tape

JR — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 21:13:51 +0000

Bubble tape was the pretty much the best thing ever when I was a kid, since it meant you could stuff as much gum in your mouth as possible. Sure you could have done this with a bunch of sticks of normal gum, but it’s just not the same.

I think it was supposed to be like a tape measure of gum, which makes sense because all the tape measures in the 90s were being used to make slap bracelets.

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Pee Wee Herman

JR — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 16:02:43 +0000

First of all I’d like to say that Pee Wee Herman was and will forever be my homeboy. But there’s no denying that he has gone ‘up to 88′, and in a big way.

My favorite Pee Wee moments of all time were in Pee Wee’s Big Adventure. It really has everything: a quest for a stolen bicycle, Dottie looking super hot, and Large Marge (who still gives me nightmares…).

Watch the best scene in Pee Wee’s Big Adventure

A while ago I realized that Pee Wee’s Big Adventure was directed by Tim Burton. I guess it makes sense, I mean remember the big weird dinosaur:

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Trapper Keepers

JR — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 16:02:15 +0000

Who could forget Trapper Keepers? Let’s face it, in 1992 elementary schools, kids weren’t cool unless they had a Trapper Keeper. And since it was the early 90′s, it had to be a REAL name brand Trapper Keeper, sorry poor kids!

Click here to find out what happens if you feed your Trapper Keeper after midnight

Trapper Keepers that would NOT get you beaten up in 1992:

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Hammer Pants

JR — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 16:02:29 +0000

Please Hammer don’t hurt ‘em!

Who could forget Hammer Pants, these were everything in hip-hop fashion in the early 90′s, and yes, ‘Hammer Pants’ is a proper noun. Back in the late 80′s / early 90′s, ‘more’ really was ‘more’, so the more fabric in your pants the cooler you were. It was simple mathematics.

These people like Hammer Pants too much

And this idiot thinks Hammer Pants are back in style

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