TV stuff that has gotten up to 88

Silk Stalkings

Tuesday, October 12th, 2010

Silk Stalkings was a trashy detective drama from the early 90′s. Think Miami Vice with more boobs, except that they couldn’t show boobs because it aired on the USA network.

The show was basically soft-core porn for people who couldn’t afford “Skinamax”, and didn’t have a time machine to go watch Baywatch.

Silk Stalkings was chock full of cheesy inuendos, for instance:

Sammy, I’m impressed. I didn’t know you followed baseball. I thought golf was your only sport.

And regardless of whether they were naked or wearing a power suit with shoulder pads, the women of Silk Stalkings were always smoking Virginia Slims.

Watch a full episode

Married With Children

Wednesday, August 18th, 2010

Married with Children was a crass sitcom from the late 80′s and early 90′s that aired on (who else) the Fox Network. It was probably the start of “toilet humor”.

Married with Children starred Al Bundy, the lovable anti-father who hated his kids, his wife and his job. His wife Peg kept begging him for sex but all Al wanted was porno mags & beer.

Their daughter Kelly was an airhead played by Christina Applegate, who’s main role was to walk around in a halter-top. I think Christina has been trying to shake this image ever since, but judging from her Twitter feed, she’s not doing so well. At least blondes have more fun…

Married With Children

When I think of Married With Children, the intro probably stands out most in my mind: “Love and marriage, love and marriage….”

Watch the iconic Married With Children intro

For more on Married with Children, check out Bundyology.com

The “Dude You’re Getting a Dell” Guy

Monday, August 2nd, 2010

Remember the commercials with the kid who always said “Dude you’re getting a Dell”?

Ben Curtis was that lovable stoner from all the Dell commercials in the late 90′s / early 2000′s. It was no small task: Curtis had to be lovable enough to both appeal to kids and get your parents to buy you a “school computer” (that was really only going to be used for Napster and porn).

Unfortunately, the Dell Dude met his end in the worst way possible: he got fired for smoking pot. What bullshit right? I mean they obviously hired him because he was a pothead. They only fired him because he got caught.

What’s the Dell Dude up to now? He’s a bartender in NYC, Dude get me a drink.

Watch a Dell Dude commercial

Hey Dude

Tuesday, May 25th, 2010

Hey Dude was a show on Nickelodeon in the 90′s that was a teenage soap opera on a dude ranch. Think Saved by the Bell meets Bonanza.

Hey Dude actually kind of sucked. It was a lot like Home Improvement; I only watched it because it was sandwiched between shows that were good.

Watch Hey Dude with a laugh track

Sister, Sister

Wednesday, May 12th, 2010

Sister, Sister was huge in the mid 90′s. It was about two identical twins with less-than identical personalities.

More importantly, the Sister, Sister theme song was off the hook.

Watch the Sister, Sister intro

Nickelodeon Guts

Friday, April 30th, 2010

Do you have it? Duh duh duh do you have it?

Guts was a sports show on Nickelodeon that was basically American Gladiators for kids.

But the best part about this show was watching a boy get the snot beat out of him by a little girl. A lot of times there’d be a big age gap, so you’d see an older girl totally emasculate a younger boy. But it wasn’t always an age gap, some of the kids were just sissies.

If you really proved your worth on Guts, you got to take home the best prize of all: A PIECE OF THE AGGRO CRAG!

Guts winner with a piece of the Aggro Crag

Beverly Hills 90210

Monday, April 26th, 2010

90210 pretty much hit the nail on the head when it came to attending high school in the 90′s. You had Steve the date-rapist, Kelly the slut, Dillon the tweaker, Andrea the nerd, and then a bunch of boring people you’d forget about.

The one thing that always annoyed me was how Aaron Spelling cast his daughter Tori as Donna, the super-nice girl who never did anything wrong. I remember when she finally lost her virginity with David. There were enough tea lights to say “we’re not ‘f*cking’ we’re ‘making love’”.

Peach Pit 4 Life!!!!!

Looking back on 90210, I think the weirdest thing that ever happened was a guest appearance from The Flaming Lips.

In 2008 CBS launched a reboot of 90210, and now the main 90210 entry in Wikipedia points to the new version of the show. What horseshit right? There’s no way a P.O.S. show like that could ever bring this 90′s classic ‘back from 88′.

The American Gladiators

Wednesday, October 28th, 2009

I could care less about that new American Gladiators show, the original American Gladiators are definitely up to 88 in the coolest way possible. I used to love this show when I was a kid, it was so bad ass with the jousting and the human cannonball. But I think my favorite event was the one where they had a big network of hanging rings and you had to monkeybar along and throw the other person off. Check it out

The American Gladiators were definitely part of that unknowing 80′s homo-eroticism with Nitro the “arrogant dickhead” and Malibu the “surfer dude” (top and bottom ;) ).

Check out the intro

But the best is where Nitro ended up: confessing his steroids in his memoirs. It’s absolutely priceless, he talks about his shrinking penis and growing man-boobs: “Breast-chesticles is what they’re called on the street. Gynecomastia is the scientific name.” (From `Gladiator: A True Story of ‘Roids, Rage and Redemption`)