Dennis Rodman

May 20th, 2010

Dennis Rodman: proof that ugly people can make it.

To be honest, I’m not sure how Dennis Rodman stayed so famous for so long. He got started by simply looking weird: crazy tattoos, facial piercings and hair colors really appealed to 90′s audiences. Rodman was also a pretty good basketball player, but even combining the two really should have only yielded 6 months or so of big time fame.

I think it had more to do with the fact that Dennis Rodman was also some kind of bizarre 90′s sex icon. He mostly appealed to girls who really wanted to piss off their parents.

This picture sort of blows my mind (but then again not really):

Dennis Rodman....UPSIDE DOWN

Ronnie James Dio

May 17th, 2010

Dio was an awesome metal band from the 80′s headed by frontman Ronnie James Dio. In case you whipper-snappers don’t remember, Dio invented the devil horns (or at least their use in the heavy metal scene).

Poor Ronnie died yesterday, and will be greatly missed.

While Holy Diver was Dio’s biggest hit, Rainbow in the Dark has always had a much bigger place in my heart. I think it’s because the video is so awesome: it features a stuffy guy in a suit following this girl all over some city. When he finally catches up with her, she’s totally rocking out with Dio and all the guys in his band. Sorry dude.

However perhaps the saddest part about Dio’s death is that the official video for Rainbow in the Dark has been pulled from Youtube. I really don’t think Dio would have wanted it that way.

WWRJDD?

Dio also had an amazing cameo on South Park, which has also been pulled from YouTube (ugh). At least you can still watch it in Spanish.

Power Wheels

May 17th, 2010

Power Wheels were at the top of pretty much every kid’s Christmas list from 1988-1994. Unfortunately the price tag on Power Wheels made for a lot of tearful Christmases.

I was pretty spoiled and my parents didn’t even get me a Power Wheels. I think they must have known how bored I would have gotten of the thing.

But Power Wheels seems like they had pretty good timing. By 1986, hippie fascination with electric cars had been completely replaced by cocaine and Camaros. So there was probably a lot of electric car hardware just lying around, and kids didn’t care if the thing only worked for 15 minutes before needing a recharge.

Pow Pow Power Wheels!

Watch a Power Wheels commercial

Watch another Power Wheels commercial

Kid ‘n Play

May 13th, 2010

OK, OK, I know that this is just a picture of Kid, but when you picture Kid ‘n Play, who do you see? Or more accurately, which hairstyle?

I think I was either too young or too white to hear about Kid ‘n Play’s music career, but their movies were definitely just right for honkies like me (is that FUBY or FYBU?).

First we had the House Party movies which really captured what a 90′s house party looked like.

Watch a video of a 90′s house party

But then it was all over with Class Act. Although this was probably my favorite of the Kid ‘n Play movies, this proved to be the nail in the coffin, since Kid cut his trademark hi-top fade.

Sister, Sister

May 12th, 2010

Sister, Sister was huge in the mid 90′s. It was about two identical twins with less-than identical personalities.

More importantly, the Sister, Sister theme song was off the hook.

Watch the Sister, Sister intro

Virtual Reality

May 3rd, 2010

Virtual reality was just about the coolest thing in the 90′s. I remember standing in line for hours to play fifteen seconds of a really boring game in VIRTUAL REALITY.

Nickelodeon Guts

April 30th, 2010

Do you have it? Duh duh duh do you have it?

Guts was a sports show on Nickelodeon that was basically American Gladiators for kids.

But the best part about this show was watching a boy get the snot beat out of him by a little girl. A lot of times there’d be a big age gap, so you’d see an older girl totally emasculate a younger boy. But it wasn’t always an age gap, some of the kids were just sissies.

If you really proved your worth on Guts, you got to take home the best prize of all: A PIECE OF THE AGGRO CRAG!

Guts winner with a piece of the Aggro Crag

Furbies

April 30th, 2010

Remember Furbies? Riding on the tail of Beanie Babies, Furbies peaked in popularity sometime around 1998, then were never to be seen again. It had something to do with them being stupid.

Furbies were little furry robots that would talk to you, or rather would speak a language called “furbish” which was a bunch of cutesy grunts and baby-talk.

Funny story: some people believed that Furbies had the ability to learn (not unlike The Terminator). Although these rumors were completely untrue, several intelligence agencies banned Furbies from their offices for security reasons.

Watch a Furby commercial

Watch two Furbies talk to each other (a “confurbsation”)